Author Archives: ramZT

Life is Already Better Than We See

There is no vision or project that is going to make life better
Life is already better than we see
The more I want to see, the more I have to give up hope for the projects
What is in my head has been borrowed through imitation, often called education and conversation
There isn’t anything in it with a shelf life of weeks or years, much less life itself
It’s not even mine, I can’t improve it with self development
If something develops, it’s an accident that will be cleaned up by the tide
I am by turns happy, anxious and sad; it’s a massive falsehood to say I control any of it
There is an island which I want to call me, gently eroding with the waves
Something is afraid of it’s utter dissolution in the sea of everything
Already I know I’m not my feet, my legs, my mid-section, my head
Am I there in the middle of my torso where the heart never sleeps, maybe not even
There is a strange overwhelming power that courses through me
I am caring less, with every breath, about everything else than that

Two Roads Into My Wilderness

There are two roads into my wilderness: one by words, the other by a channel of electricity that follows my breath. When I follow the first road, I am worried and exhausted. When I remember to take the second one, I am relieved and filled with silent joy. I’m not holy and I’m not wise, but I’m not a complete knucklehead and I sometimes remember to avoid what hurts in favor of what heals.

In much younger days of aspiration, the world of words stretched forward in endless possibility and danger. In those days I fell or was wrenched from the words-world by some wondrous defect in my destiny. I slipped onto that little known second road and have straddled the two ever since. Being nothing but a regular guy, the standard-issue anxieties climbed on my back and yet I had moments of access to some other brand of life support.

After decades of repetition, wearing and tearing down the curtain, the words reveal their hollow points. They don’t last; there is nothing solid to them. The dog gets old, the house needs paint, a neighbor moves away. Ambushed lately by fear of losing my job, and all the trouble that might ensue, I stumbled onto a reminder: that misery was a coin toss away from peace; just a different way of inhaling, incompatible with the parade of words.

Happy Fathers Day!

Hey Pa,

Here’s a start to your new website! Once this site gets some style, I’ll add some songs and pictures and other good stuff.  Then I’ll teach you how to add things on your own and you’ll never go hungry (you know what they say about teaching a man to fish)! Love you so much! And soon the world will know how brilliant and talented you are.

lots and lots of love,

Rachie